Shamanic Pathways 01 - quiet thoughts.

[moonvoice]

My animal companion, or 'pet', Moet - a champagne tabby - has spent most of today lounging in the sunbeams by the blinds I left open specifically for him. Specifically so he could lounge in front of them.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that I live with a feline who has the leashed spirit of tigers and lions inside of him, until of course I see him playing, or his blown black pupils pop up over my bed, a second before he wraps himself around my foot, all claws and teeth.

We too, are humans with the leashed spirits of primates and goodness knows what else inside of us. We sit at our computers, we lie docile in our beds at night (or some of us do), we cook our meals and live our lives leashed by society, jobs, sometimes even our friends and families.

So when do our pupils dilate black with the sheer joy of the hunt? When do we unleash and play for the sake of playing? When do we climb, run, crawl, frolic and revel in our environments and surroundings? Do you know what furniture would carry your weight if you jumped on it? Have you ever hid, breathless, waiting for a friend to come round the door before shouting 'BOO!' and revelling in this jump of fear?

I unleash, sometimes, in the otherworlds. Specifically, in my 'starting place' (no really, one day I will give it a name), in the middle-realms. I am lucky to have a few spirit helpers who remind me that I am not just a leashed creature, someone's animal companion, but a fierce and at times ferocious spirit. Capable of holding great power, and - when necessary - letting it go. Play is serious business.

When do you unleash? And how?

Comments

[lupabitch.livejournal.com]

This is what I do whenever I'm in the woods alone--I take my wolf-self for a lope!

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

That's awesome. I will take 'raven' for a walk sometimes, although, within certain bounds, it's fairly easy for me to be my wild self around the house too. Especially when I have a cat to play pounce with.

[secrets-n-lies.livejournal.com]

the only time i ever really let go is whilst swimming in the ocean. there is something about it that makes me feel freer than anything else.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Swimming in the ocean is very amazing for this I think. So huge and in some places it feels almost bottomless, with life all around you, and hidden secrets in the waters... a good place to let go.

[bewylderbeast.livejournal.com]

I never unleash, and that makes me quite sad.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Have you ever thought about using the places where you see Red to exploit the ability to unleash?

[wolfcatt.livejournal.com]

I don't. I just keep it locked up.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Do you know why?

[tsukikokoro.livejournal.com]

I unleash in different ways; I think my most common unleash is through singing. If I could beat up the people who loved me without them getting upset, I'd constantly be sending them to the hospital. Since that's not a healthy way to release this wild energy, I'm just kind of frustrated most of the time. Making coffee (and getting burned) helps a little.

[nicanthiel.livejournal.com]

This, pretty much, though without the coffee.

[nicanthiel.livejournal.com]

I don't typically unleash (which I think may be the cause of a potentially growing anger problem), mostly because of the fact that my driving force is less concerned with the primate bit of me.

Also, I generally have a lot of exposure to music, which is my personal therapy par excellence.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

If you could unleash or discharge your potentially growing anger, how do you think you would do it?

[storm-seeker.livejournal.com]

I think I unleash a lot less than I realize I do. *nods* At least I think so after reading your post and pondering it.

The last time I unleashed though...that I remember. Sunday, and I sat down to play piano at a client's. Just planning to play through Scott Joplin's The Entertainer since that's typically the only piece I learned that I tend to remember.

I decided I liked the sound of the piano, the way the notes struck, and rang out, the pitch and the tone were quite beautiful, kind of captivating. And I just lay my fingers on the keys and started playing...and a haunting little melodic tune came from somewhere, played through my fingers, reminding me of the beautiful, emotional score in "Pan's Labyrinth."

I think I sat there for an hour or so just playing the tune back and forth, adding to it, playing around, realizing that somewhere along the way in recent years I'd developed an ear for notes and chords, what work together and what don't, almost intuitively playing those that did, and occasionally hitting a note out of place, then just playing around looking for one that sounded like it belonged in the space.

It was a very surreal and lovely experience.

The tune I played came from envisioning a scene in a story/novel I'm working on; I just wanted to play some sort of soundtrack to the scene that came to mind, kind of express it through the music or express what was in the imagery in my mind through music. And I did, and had a lot of fun doing it. It was great. :)

And now I want a piano at home, so that when I'm plotting my stories/novels or looking for some inspiration or just want to get out the imagery in my mind in a way other than words, when the words don't come or aren't coming, I can sit at the piano and paint it in another way.

Or at the very least, I am going to take piano lessons in the future, and hopefully not too long. But still, piano at home for writing inspiration, s'where it's at. :)

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

The tune I played came from envisioning a scene in a story/novel I'm working on

This is a wonderful feeling and I used to do it myself, and will do again once I get my piano into this house and get it tuned.

[tanwyn.livejournal.com]

heh.. you would post this when I'm already done a lot of introspections. I've actually been sitting here thinking about this for a bit. I really don't unleash very often at all. The only times I can think about that I actually unleash is when I'm talking with one specific friend, sometimes when I'm actually relaxed and feeling well with A., and when I journey. Occasionally I'll let out the slack a bit more, so to speak, but it's very very hard for me to let go of that leash.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Have you thought about exploring it when journeying more often?

[jet-ski.livejournal.com]

Everytime I get onto that big, grassy green football oval and the yellow pigskin ball is my prey, my team mates my pack, the opponents just objects that are in the way. Aussie rules is pretty much the only sport that I can play that way. Sometimes I get into that mode in a non-contact, more 'structured' sport and I get into trouble. Also when I ride my bike and there's no cars around and I can try to bunnyhop and mono.... the exhilaration of flying for even a few seconds.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I think Glen connects with soccer / sport in general as well. All the running away, running to something, it has the potential to get very primal for all involved. I think that is awesome.

[nar-kiranka.livejournal.com]

When do I unleash, well. It hasn't happened in a long time. In the past it was during various rituals and oh boy did that feel good.

However, to me, really letting go involves offering my throat and being willing to offer my own blood while mating like a HellHound. This, to me is how I let go.



Of course, I do envy all the journeying things I read about I've always wanted to be able to DO that, even if only just once, I need to remember it and feel it all. Because there is so much more I could be doing there in terms of letting go, precisely.

Perhaps one day. I feel trapped down here. Totally.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you feel trapped. I hate that feeling, so so much. It's not nurturing or nourishing at all. I wonder if there are smaller ways that you could start unleashing?

[arnajade.livejournal.com]

I do that all the time to Taurean. Hide behind things and jump out at him. I bite him all the time randomly and hard and he hates it but i cant stop myself doing it.

[cariadwen.livejournal.com]

LOL I used to play like that once but I got too grown up to do it when I reached 50. Or was it I found that lovers were just a little disconcerted about it. Whatever was the reason it's something I should try again.

[witchchild]

and then there's me who doesn't have a lot of opportunities to let out my fierceness. *sighs*

(or it comes out like it did at the monthly staff meeting yesterday: direct, a little bitchy, but Not Pleased about some things.)

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Have you ever thought about creating a ritual specifically for unleashing, or honouring your animal-self?

[cariadwen.livejournal.com]

Oddly a few friends and I were talking about this only last night. Not as in the unleashing of the joy of being alive but as in unleashing repressed anger.

I explained that once long ago I used to buy or find odd pieces of china and store them for a later use. then when I needed to let off huge amounts of anger, I would take the pile of china and enjoy throwing them about on concrete floors. The sheer force of them smashing was a delight! It took unhealthy anger away from situations where it would be too destructive.

One of my friends said she tried to smash a cup once but found it too hard to release her anger, to throw it hard enough to break. All she could do was break the handle!

I find that sort of repression to be extremely worrying.

It's been a loooong time since I rolled down a grassy bank!

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Not as in the unleashing of the joy of being alive but as in unleashing repressed anger.

This is just as important, I think, since repressed anger can just be so so so toxic. :(

Journeying and ritual can be another very effective way of releasing repressed anger.

[rainsingingwolf.livejournal.com]

Having younger cousins or family members can help with this a lot. Or even just a few friends (of which my mate is one) who doesn't care what people think if we decide to play. Going out for walks in the various wilderness areas around her helps a lot.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Having younger cousins or family members can help with this a lot.

I agree. I have a younger brother who does karate, and likes to wrestle with people for run. That gets your animal side out very quickly!

[apocalypsegrrl.livejournal.com]

I don't think I get to unleash- not physically anyway. I'm heavy and my body's in poor shape, so doing any kind of actvitity is painful and usually leaves me lightheaded. Though I'm thinking about taking up Tai Chi or some other really gentle exercise to try getting my strenght back.

I used to feel free swimming, but in New York City, there's not many places to swim. The public pools get packed like you wouldn't believe.

Sometimes I'd like to cry, just to get it out, but I just can't. It just all gets stuck in my throat and stayes there.

Mostly I sing. It's about all I can do.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I'm heavy and my body's in poor shape,

That can really frustrate the process. Because of my health I can't just run the way I'd sometimes like to.

I think swimming would be really good, but it's a shame how packed the public pools get. If you can stand it, getting to a public pool in the first half hour of the pool opening, tends to only have the oldies and serious swimmers there. As kids don't tend to start going until around 9.00am for lessons and such.

[dingo-yellowdog.livejournal.com]

When it's warm like it is now down here, my dog, Jelly Roll, and I stalk the ducks in my lake. I can get so close that I swear I could grab one, but I want to keep them coming back, so I usually end up chasing down Jelly.
I used to chase her on all fours (this does wonders for your upper body; I have very muscular forearms), but I broke my hand recently, so, as John Cleese said, that avenue of pleasure is closed to me now. :P

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Jelly Roll is an awesome name for a dog!

I would sometimes go around on all fours with my cat, but I prefer to do that on grass, it hurts on tiles!

[earthguardian.livejournal.com]

Hm. I dont know. I guess I never really thought about it. I think I repress my more "severe" emotions like anger to the point where I'm unable to GET angry (unless it's indignation or some other type of righteous fury and I normally have to work myself up or see graphic images to really feel it).

Sometimes when I act like a cat, that helps a little. I don't really feel comfortable enough - alone or otherwise - to really let anything go so I just keep everything inside. Normally (especially when I was younger) I would just nap it off, so I think I do that now.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I think it's cool that you act like a cat. What sort of things do you do? When I was younger I used to behave like a cat a lot, it was both a good escape, and a good way to express things I didn't feel I could express otherwise.

[silere.livejournal.com]

So many things for me circle back to the concept of letting go, or unleashing, lately. This is the third nudge i've gotten in as many days as to what my next steps are.

Honestly, i just don't know -how-, anymore. Too many years of (probably well-meaning) 'don't act like that, act your age.' or other kinds of social conditioning. And now, when i want to.. when i -should- be in an environment that is supportive and free enough for me to -be- myself. i don't know who myself is, and neither my mind nor my body will allow me to let go. Not in waking. Dreaming is sometimes better. I feel so alive there, sometimes.

I should journal about this concept. Thanks for asking.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Honestly, i just don't know -how-, anymore.

Do you live with any animals so you can observe how they do it and literally copy them? Could you think of your favourite animal and observe them in videos on YouTube and look at how they play, and then when no one is looking, start to mimic it no matter how silly it feels at first?

It could be a good start. :)

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

There are two places I've been known to unleash. And the in between times I get depressed because I'm get far too serious, burnt out, and pent up. I really wish I could unleash more, it would keep my emotional self a bit more stable.

Anyway, one is Camp! Brushwood up in NY State is by far the only place I completely feel at home to do whatever comes to mind without the fear of social taboos and ramifications.

The second is driving. This one gets quite illegal but sometimes I just need the excitement and this is the way I feel free. I know my truck has a governor at 114mph (183 kmh) and there's a stretch of highway in Ohio (ironically on the way to Camp!) where I occasionally travel 48 miles (77.2 kilometers) in 25 minutes. Luckily (for me and the cops) I don't have to "bust a nut" frequently, and just a long drive will do nicely. Roadtrips are essential to my happy existence.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I have a friend who unleashes through driving as well, going really fast with the window down.

I'm a big fan of long drives myself, they make a big difference and let me 'zone out' and become a part of the journey.

[psychrobia149.livejournal.com]

Stuff like this is where being alone most of the time really comes in handy. :)

I think that I unleash all the time. When I wake up in the morning (and had a half-way decent night's sleep), I'll dance my way into the kitchen to make my coffee...and then I'll do spins on the hardwood floors of my kitchen while the coffee brews.

Then I'll generally dance, goof off, and talk to myself all day.

If I'm driving somewhere, I'll sing along with the radio (really loud) and dance in my car (and swerve when no other cars are around) or I'll blatantly talk to myself (I pretend that I have a hands-free phone attached to my steering wheel....I mean, who's gonna check? lol!).


Or....still in my car, I will play one of my favorite games, which is 'Space Ship'! I'll pretend that my car is a space ship, and that I'm cruising down one of the pathways that lead around the out-post cities (like on a desolate, futuristic world), except that my car is flying and not connected to the road (the road/pathway is just a guide for all of the car/ships to follow...so that we can all find the towns).

Other times (in my car), I'm flying towards the Death Star, and I've got to push alot of buttons in my car to get ready for the big battle (buttons like on my radio (with the sound turned down), or my heater/de-froster, etc).

One of my favorite parts of life though, is just realizing that I am who I am, and that there is no template for how I'm supposed to live. I mean, people can try to tell me who to be, and then society can press me with suggestions, but I think that as long as I don't hurt others and try not to hurt myself, then how I live is up to me.

If I feel like playing dress-up in the middle of the work week, when no one is around but me, who am I hurting? :)


Oh, and I'd also like to mention that I am 39 years old, am happily married, am a professional who runs my own successful business, and I play/unleash all of the time. *big smiles* :)

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Then I'll generally dance, goof off, and talk to myself all day.

I love you, you know that? I'm not even brave enough to do this kind of stuff in my own home yet, and I can't wait to be that crazy woman that people go 'hey she's that crazy artist woman,' because right now I still am quite repressed here.

You are a wonderful and inspiring role model.

[lunar-amaranth.livejournal.com]

Unleashing is very hard for me. There has to be a lot of energy in the environment around me to even get me to a point where I want to...and then, typically, the second I start to act out of character, the urge just vanishes and I feel really stupid.

I can't do it around people who know me. Heck, when I was younger I couldn't stand to have anyone around when I practiced the piano. I just can't seem to break out of the "they're going to think I've gone mad and they'll never see me the same way again" mindset.

I used to unleash a little during martial arts, and I really miss that. People around me don't understand how a generally unruffled, pacifistic person such as myself could enjoy sparring, and I can't quite explain it. Something related to the thrill of the hunt, perhaps.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

the second I start to act out of character, the urge just vanishes and I feel really stupid.

I have found this too.

In shamanism, this happens a lot, the first time a person starts drumming, or dancing, or rattling. It can feel very stupid to rattle a rattle as an adult! The advice I have been given is to just keep doing it until the stupid goes away. Until your inner adult throws all it can at you, and then says 'oh stuff this, I'm going elsewhere, do what you want to do.'

Have you ever tried persisting through the feeling of 'stupid' that you get?

[zuki-san.livejournal.com]

I go barefoot (why do you think I wear flip-flops and thongs near-constantly when it's warm?), and revel in the sensations that aren't sock and shoe on the soles of my feet.

I love running, especially if it means I get to chase someone down.

I run around on all fours sometimes, when nobody's watching or I think the people watching don't care.

I bite, nibble, and chew on my lover. I'd bite harder if he didn't yelp in pain.

Walking my way out to the parking lot with my music on, I'll dance and dance and dance my way there. I've delayed coming home for at least a good 20 minutes this way.

I sing to the thunderstorm, asking that I might be like its lightning.

There's a place on campus with a collection of recently-planted oak trees, and a smallish granite boulder at the base of each one. Once or twice I ran and dashed and danced about the trees and the rocks, hoping onto them, jumping and pushing off of them.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I go barefoot a lot of the time as well. I really like the feel of warm grass under my feet.

I think all the ways that you unleash are very awesome.

[cypherwulf.livejournal.com]

I used to unleash a lot more than I do now. I'd run through parks late at night, letting out my inner animal to play, careening off trees and rocks as I raced through the dark. I'd saunter down busy thoroughfares with my posse, awake to the vibrancy of the world around and feeling like a god for being able to touch into that energy. I would turn the sound up on a song that particularly touched me and sing as loud as possible while moshing around my room. I would devise crazy impossible plans and actually follow through with them much to the amazement of people who didn't know me very well.

I don't really do anything like that anymore, and I'm not sure how to get back to that. I don't exactly suppress myself, any friend of mine will tell you I pretty much say and do what I want. There's just something deeper that I've lost touch with, my element. I've been trying to find it for a couple years now, I think I lost it in San Francisco...

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I don't really do anything like that anymore, and I'm not sure how to get back to that.

I wonder what different avenues you could take to get back to it?

Have you ever thought about doing something like a ritual to commit to finding it again?

[thegreencall.livejournal.com]

When I studied Feri, one of exercises I was taught was working with than animal (or child) spirit inside. It was good work and I haven't done anything with it lately. Thanks for the reminder!

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

That exercise sounds like a wonderful one! :D

[shimmerhawk.livejournal.com]

I don't really unleash anymore. Not like I did when I was a kid. The closest I get now is when I walk. I just like to go walk until I'm exhausted and see all sorts of new places and just feel the joy of moving and exploring. I think it would be better if 1) I had someplace to unleash where I didn't feel like it was inappropriate and if 2) I had one or more people around me who were doing the same thing and I felt comfortable enough to join them. That was one of the things I liked about being in Minnesota when I was younger. My friends and I would just go out in nature and run around, be silly, swim, or explore. I really miss that. Now my social anxiety makes it hard for me to be comfortable enough around anyone to unleash.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I haven't walked until I was exhausted for a long time, but it was something I only really did in Winter. I don't like doing it as much in the warmer months.