So many things for me circle back to the concept of letting go, or unleashing, lately. This is the third nudge i've gotten in as many days as to what my next steps are.
Honestly, i just don't know -how-, anymore. Too many years of (probably well-meaning) 'don't act like that, act your age.' or other kinds of social conditioning. And now, when i want to.. when i -should- be in an environment that is supportive and free enough for me to -be- myself. i don't know who myself is, and neither my mind nor my body will allow me to let go. Not in waking. Dreaming is sometimes better. I feel so alive there, sometimes.
I should journal about this concept. Thanks for asking.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2009-05-05 02:35 pm (UTC)Honestly, i just don't know -how-, anymore. Too many years of (probably well-meaning) 'don't act like that, act your age.' or other kinds of social conditioning. And now, when i want to.. when i -should- be in an environment that is supportive and free enough for me to -be- myself. i don't know who myself is, and neither my mind nor my body will allow me to let go. Not in waking. Dreaming is sometimes better. I feel so alive there, sometimes.
I should journal about this concept. Thanks for asking.