Remember Michael on The Office going no. No. NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. yeah. That's us.

[moonvoice]

I was going to talk about how much I love nature.

I was really going to talk about how much I love nature.

AND THEN I FOUND A LIVE FUCKING SCORPION IN MY STUDY (or Maybe found it and then was rapidly grabbed and put away before she could hurt herself, which is what she clearly wanted to do) AND I CHANGED MY FUCKING MIND.


The SCORPION OF DOOM




I was going to be all like, hey I saw a western brush wallaby in the bushland today and it stared at us for ages and it was all magical and crap.

But then I changed my mind. Glen's all like 'I didn't know we had scorpions in Perth!' and I'm like 'I did, I didn't know we had them IN OUR HOUSE.'

We are now discussing the merits of moving anywhere but here. (I actually prefer close encounters with snakes over scorpions, but that's because snakes can't grab you with two pincers before stabbing the crap out of you.)

(Anyone concerned with the welfare of the scorpion should know that we 'rehomed it' in some bushland far far far away. FAR AWAY.)

(x-posted to Wordpress. Eventually.)

Comments

[silverjackal]

I actually like scorpions. They tend to be mild, inoffensive creatures for the most part -- they'd far rather run away than sting, that's only for prey. I also find their mode of locomotion much less fraught than spiders (given just how far some spiders can jump, and just how fast some can move). But (and it's a big but) I draw the line at the safety of companion animals in particular. I also hate having to shake out my shoes, clothes, and bedding before using them to make certain they're tenantless before using them. My closest involuntary encounter with a scorpion -- I've handled them via the exotic pet trade -- was once finding one sitting on a bathroom wall just above the toilat at two thirty in the morning. Not comforting. I completely understand your desire to move.

That said Señor scorpion probably ventured into your blessedly cool house to escape the ferocious heat outside. Once it cools off the risk will probably decrease exponentially, so if you do decide to move you have time to decide.

[moonvoice]

I find them fascinating and elegant when I can just observe them (my first encounter was with a little black one just outside a public toilet, and it was beautiful and sleek and completely happy to be there), but as it turns out, finding one about 7 times the size of that in my own house, was something that made me shudder all over.

Especially as Maybe may have actually carried it in the study first, since this is her 'killing ground.' I don't think she just happened to find it in here in full light. She's fine, she just wanted to kill it over and over again (and had to be put away, as did Moet), but they've both never encountered scorpions and I didn't want them to have to learn 'the hard way.'

Glen and I both wanted to kill it at first and then I was like... well I don't want to spray it, that's a horrible way for something to die. I don't want to just squash it. Oh fine, let's rehome it in the bushland where it does a fine job and will be an awesome specimen since it was clearly an adult. And then they can breed and more can find their way into our house.

*moves*

(Also, not going to cool off for at least another two weeks. The lowest maximum this week is 34C, the lowest nightly minimum is 22C. Blergh.)