Remember Michael on The Office going no. No. NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. yeah. That's us.

[moonvoice]

I was going to talk about how much I love nature.

I was really going to talk about how much I love nature.

AND THEN I FOUND A LIVE FUCKING SCORPION IN MY STUDY (or Maybe found it and then was rapidly grabbed and put away before she could hurt herself, which is what she clearly wanted to do) AND I CHANGED MY FUCKING MIND.


The SCORPION OF DOOM




I was going to be all like, hey I saw a western brush wallaby in the bushland today and it stared at us for ages and it was all magical and crap.

But then I changed my mind. Glen's all like 'I didn't know we had scorpions in Perth!' and I'm like 'I did, I didn't know we had them IN OUR HOUSE.'

We are now discussing the merits of moving anywhere but here. (I actually prefer close encounters with snakes over scorpions, but that's because snakes can't grab you with two pincers before stabbing the crap out of you.)

(Anyone concerned with the welfare of the scorpion should know that we 'rehomed it' in some bushland far far far away. FAR AWAY.)

(x-posted to Wordpress. Eventually.)

Comments

[goddess_incarnate]

That's so frightening! I've never seen one outside of a pet store before though. But even in their cage they're so freaky looking.

Though, honestly, your post made me LOL super hard.

I'm glad you managed to get rid of it. I'm sure other people would have had their animals try to eat it. Or something.

[white_rabbit]

I have enough trouble with spiders. I think if I found a scorpion in my house I would move. Immediately. Leaving behind anything that was near the thing. And probably not sleep for a week or two. ;_;

Come to Canada! The worst we have here are tiny, not very poisonous spiders and snakes, which are rarely found inside homes. Also ants and mice, but neither of those are poisonous or scary either, but often found in homes.

[feralkiss]

It's hard to figure out the size on the picture, how big was it? 'o'
How hard to spot was it in the house?

[moonvoice]

It was 6 centimetres in length with its tail curled up, probably longer with the tail straightened. Not sure what that is in inches though (I'm not sure if you're metric or inches over in France!)

It wasn't hard to spot. Maybe was going crazy behind me, I turned around in my study chair and said 'what have you got!' saw that it was big (being enough to not be the normal crickets that she goes for), saw that it was a scorpion and then... yeah. It was that easy to spot.

[nicanthiel]

Very roughly, 6 cm would be about 2 inches, give or take a couple of inch-fractions.

Also, eeeaghisghakngkasvladkmv. I wouldn't be able to sleep for a week either. Glad to hear Maybe didn't get hurt.

[moonvoice]

2.36 inches, according to the master that is Google (the scary, scary master that is Google). But that just sounds tiny to me.

Yeek.

[feralkiss]

>_> Metric. The inches, pounds and whatnot system is total non-sense to us French-people. I had noticed before that you use the metric system too and AM SO GLAD OF IT!

I'm glad you found it in that situation and not... like. Wasn't it you who mentioned finding horrible spiders in your BED? I remember also finding out a big spider in my towel after going out of the shower and that's not the kind of surprises I enjoy. Much.

[moonvoice]

Yeah, in the old place, redback spiders in my bed. That was bad. For two weeks it seemed like redbacks and whitetails were everywhere.

And a big spider on a towel? Eeeeerk. *shudder*

[silverjackal]

I actually like scorpions. They tend to be mild, inoffensive creatures for the most part -- they'd far rather run away than sting, that's only for prey. I also find their mode of locomotion much less fraught than spiders (given just how far some spiders can jump, and just how fast some can move). But (and it's a big but) I draw the line at the safety of companion animals in particular. I also hate having to shake out my shoes, clothes, and bedding before using them to make certain they're tenantless before using them. My closest involuntary encounter with a scorpion -- I've handled them via the exotic pet trade -- was once finding one sitting on a bathroom wall just above the toilat at two thirty in the morning. Not comforting. I completely understand your desire to move.

That said Señor scorpion probably ventured into your blessedly cool house to escape the ferocious heat outside. Once it cools off the risk will probably decrease exponentially, so if you do decide to move you have time to decide.

[moonvoice]

I find them fascinating and elegant when I can just observe them (my first encounter was with a little black one just outside a public toilet, and it was beautiful and sleek and completely happy to be there), but as it turns out, finding one about 7 times the size of that in my own house, was something that made me shudder all over.

Especially as Maybe may have actually carried it in the study first, since this is her 'killing ground.' I don't think she just happened to find it in here in full light. She's fine, she just wanted to kill it over and over again (and had to be put away, as did Moet), but they've both never encountered scorpions and I didn't want them to have to learn 'the hard way.'

Glen and I both wanted to kill it at first and then I was like... well I don't want to spray it, that's a horrible way for something to die. I don't want to just squash it. Oh fine, let's rehome it in the bushland where it does a fine job and will be an awesome specimen since it was clearly an adult. And then they can breed and more can find their way into our house.

*moves*

(Also, not going to cool off for at least another two weeks. The lowest maximum this week is 34C, the lowest nightly minimum is 22C. Blergh.)

[unaspenser]

aeieeiie;adal;fkk

ugh. That makes my skin crawl so much! We have scorpions in Idaho, apparently, but I've never encountered one, and I'd really like to keep it that way.

It's a good thing black widows don't bug me too much... we get those around here in spades.

[tangledaxon]

This? (I love this moment btw.)

But um. Yeah. Scorpion. oawuerbisbfasdf I'd have freaked out. Very cool photo though!

[moonvoice]

YES!!! That moment. It cracked me up so hard when I saw it, and the .gifs around the internet are awesome. :D Thank you!

[finch]

I know people who've run into them in their homes here in Phoenix. I've never had the, ah, pleasure myself. I'm glad to hear neither of the cats got into trouble with it.

D:

[gone_fishing]

*goes under my computer desk, rocking back and forth crying "meep meep meep"*

[lupagreenwolf]

OHGODOHGODOHGOD D:

I can deal with spiders now without squishing them. I have yet to meet a scorpion in person. I really, really wanna come visit someday, but you're going to have to convince your wildlife to stop being so damned venomous.

[etherealzephyr]

Just go in June! All the really nasty tings are ectotherms or poikilotherms, so they tend to mind their manners int he cooler months!

...that said.... *side-eye at Aussie endemics*

[donnalotus]

Wow...... I know we get them in the bush up home (remember someone seeing one at camp once) but I've never seen a scorpion anywhere in Victoria. *shudder* I'd have had to rehome it too, but OMG they have such a bad rap for being *stabby killers!* hehehe Although according to Indiana Jones when it comes to scorpions, "The bigger the better" so probably good it was so big??? (hehe)

[burningbright]

D: DO NOT WANT.

I'm glad Maybe is okay and didn't get stung!

(Your flaily comments like the one about rehoming it made me laugh, though.)

[bunny_m]

Y'know, the only thing I've ever seen an SAS guy even slightly worried about is a scorpion.

This is a guy who'd jumped out of a plane, chute failed to open properly, and after only 18 months on medical leave, he was back in the Regiment.

And he was freaked by an itty-bitty scorpion that was about 1/3 the size of the one in your study.

Releasing it far, faaaaaaaaaaaar away sounds like a grand idea to me.

(These scorpions, of course, are absolutely everywhere at the Army training area up at Bindoon.)

[etherealzephyr]

Augh!! I love scorpions! I don't think I'd love them in my house, though. I mean, most of them won't kill you (bark scorpions are pretty wicked, though, and the deathstalker!), but so! Much! Pain! And we all know this cool cat is allergic to pain. I'm glad both you and Maybe avoided the business end of that little baddy D:

The Scorpions - Live & Disconcerting

[perzephone]

That's a really nice photo of your scorpion, btw. Mine all come out looking like they're stills from the Blair Witch Project or some other Shaky-Cam horror flick.

*laugh*

[ysabetwordsmith]

You're probably the only person I know who would flip out over a scorpion ... and then release it alive outdoors anyhow. Me, I'd have slain it with extreme prejudice. (Outdoors I share with wildlife. Indoors however is My Territory.) Though I do have a fantasy character who catches and releases scorpions.

[nachtrabe]

I have a standing policy with most arthropods that they are pretty and nice outside of my apartment, but I have significantly lower tolerance for them *in* my apartment >_>

[ariestess]

I HATE HATE HATE scorpions!

When I lived in San Antonio, my exes and I went to a women's retreat near Austin. We were going into the main building from the pool and I came this close >< to stepping on a baby scorpion. It was completely white and about an inch long from tip to tip when fully stretched out. Knowing how bad that could have been for me, I have hated them ever since. And when my nephew's mom had a scorpion as a pet in her bedroom at one point, I hated going into her bedroom, tho there was some great protection juju in that room from said scorpion.

*shudders*

Do I even want to know how big this one was?

[bodlon]

We started a contract with a major pest control service called Orkin this past winter when we discovered a minor infestation of cockroaches (probably my fault because I work in student housing, and the little bastards like to hitch along on baggage and clothing).

One day I was just casually reading over the papers they give me every other month when they come in and treat the house and discovered that scorpions are on the list of common pests covered under contract. This led to googling of the worst sort because I then discovered that, yes, Missouri has scorpions.

Not terrifying ZOMGKILLYOU scorpions like in Perth, mind. I...get a little queasy, actually, just looking at that little guy. Eeeh. *hides*