Shamanic Pathways 01 - quiet thoughts.

[moonvoice]

My animal companion, or 'pet', Moet - a champagne tabby - has spent most of today lounging in the sunbeams by the blinds I left open specifically for him. Specifically so he could lounge in front of them.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that I live with a feline who has the leashed spirit of tigers and lions inside of him, until of course I see him playing, or his blown black pupils pop up over my bed, a second before he wraps himself around my foot, all claws and teeth.

We too, are humans with the leashed spirits of primates and goodness knows what else inside of us. We sit at our computers, we lie docile in our beds at night (or some of us do), we cook our meals and live our lives leashed by society, jobs, sometimes even our friends and families.

So when do our pupils dilate black with the sheer joy of the hunt? When do we unleash and play for the sake of playing? When do we climb, run, crawl, frolic and revel in our environments and surroundings? Do you know what furniture would carry your weight if you jumped on it? Have you ever hid, breathless, waiting for a friend to come round the door before shouting 'BOO!' and revelling in this jump of fear?

I unleash, sometimes, in the otherworlds. Specifically, in my 'starting place' (no really, one day I will give it a name), in the middle-realms. I am lucky to have a few spirit helpers who remind me that I am not just a leashed creature, someone's animal companion, but a fierce and at times ferocious spirit. Capable of holding great power, and - when necessary - letting it go. Play is serious business.

When do you unleash? And how?

Comments

[makhsihed.livejournal.com]

I've found that it is vital, absolutely necessary, to unleash on a regular basis.

Part of it is that my birdness will come to the forefront whether I like it or not. If I don't choose the time, then it'll usually manifest strongly at an inconvenient (ie high stress) time/place. So I've found it's beneficial to schedule myself some "bird time" in safe, more private environments. Time where I indulge my more avian instincts/urges and let myself sink into feathers and wind. It doesn't have to be outside, though that helps (hawk does not like being enclosed), and certainly does not have to be in nature (some of my more meaningful/stronger shifts have been walking on a downtown city sidewalk), but it has to happen on a regular basis, or else it'll be birdpanic and claustrophobia and social anxiety in a crowded elevator. Not so fun.

The other part of it is my natural tendency towards control. The more out of control my environment gets, or the less in control other people around me are, the tighter controls I place on myself. The subconscious thought pattern goes something like "No one else/nothing else is controlled. Someone has to be, and I guess that someone is me". The problem with this is that sometimes I forget how to let go of control; my self-placed bands get tighter and more restricting until I can scarcely move or breathe (figuratively speaking). Then internal pressure builds and builds because I can't even express emotion at that point, or even feel the wilder urges and instincts--and it has to release somehow or I feel I'll explode/implode, which scares me. I used to deal with it through self-harm, repetitive cutting. I try to avoid that route now. ;)

So... I have to find ways to unleash, for my own sanity and health. When it gets bad enough--the controls, I mean, on myself--I start getting the significant urge to give control over to someone else. Or, rather, since at that point I'm not usually capable of giving control up, it's a need to have control wrested from me. Subbing (in a BDSM context) is actually really helpful in such situations, finding someone I trust with that control and letting them (with some token or more-than-token resistance) take it from me. Because someone's got to be in control; I can't let go if I'm the only one with any control, because then everyone/everything would fall apart... right?

It's funny that being leashed helps me unleash. ;)

I miss having a large dog. I go over to a coworker's house sometimes; she has a St. Bernard mix. Every time, I unleash a bit by play-wrestling with the dog. I used to do that with my parents' dog, a Rottweiler/Labrador. Great fun.

Hiking helps too. Getting out into the middle of nowhere and stretching and breathing and letting the wind whip through me. Or getting outside during a storm and reveling in the rain/thunder/gusts.

Very neat entry, Pia; lots of fun to think about. :>

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

It's funny that being leashed helps me unleash. ;)

Actually, I can really relate to this. And while I have a moratorium on the whole submissive thing right now (and all touch), it was - back when I could experience it - an amazing form of unleashing, become more wild, more raw, and more myself.

[makhsihed.livejournal.com]

Ooh hey, mirrorred_star's comment made me think of something else--

LARPing in the woods with padded sticks for a weekend, running around with adrenaline pumping, shifting more towards a survival-oriented mindset for a time... dealing with the elements (of FREEZING COLD x.x) and getting too little sleep and exhausting myself... It's definitely unleashing. Highly cathartic. My favored form of stress relief.