[Wildspeak] Working with soul parts.
Mar. 13th, 2009 03:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moonvoiceI can't promise that any of this will make sense, my journeys are always so clear and 'simple' to me until I start describing them. erm.
About a month ago, I realised I had someone else's soul part attached to me. Clinging to me kind of like an adorable little limpet. When I disengaged her, gently, she expressed misgivings about going back to where she belonged, and kept telilng me that she wanted to stay with me.
The last month, on and off, I've been having dialogues with this kid, who calls herself Button Princess (which comes from being 'cute as a button,' which is really cute). In a way, she still wants to cling, and so most of our visits are me trying to teach her the spiritual skills necessary to stick around someone who doesn't really want you or know what to do with you, until they're ready to want you / know what to do with you. It's all about resilience. And there's been a lot of sharing. About how I know I have my own 'Button Princess' out there somewhere who I'm also kind of scared of, etc.
Anyway, today was yet another journey. We sat at my 'beach-house' or starting place by the sea, with the forest behind us, and we talked about how yellow icing on cupcakes was better than pink icing (I offered her pink, she wanted yellow). About how she spent a lot of her time in the otherworlds, away from her main 'person', walking along the beach and looking for seashells with holes in them to make into necklaces.
I talked about the power of telling stories, and made up a story about the Button Princess that had a happy ending. So Button Princess asked me to make up a story for myself and I was like 'well, what name should I have?' And she wanted to call me mother Raven, uh oh, no, I can't have her clinging to me again. So I said 'how about Aunty Raven?' She liked that, so I'm now Aunty Raven. I might keep that for future soul parts that come to visit me, lol.
I told a story about Aunty Raven, and as I was telling the story to Button Princess (who was closing her eyes and falling asleep), Oooshala came walking out of the sea towards us, and Aka Oslo came flying into my starting place as an eagle (who changed into Aka Oslo soon afterwards) and they both listened to me tell my story. It didn't have a proper ending. It ended with Aunty Raven sitting next to Button Princess, listening to the sound of the sea waves and the breezes in the leaves of the forest behind her, content. And for the first time in a while, I felt kind of content. So I just stayed there.
Eventually I told Button Princess that she needed to go 'back' and keep trying, but until she was fully integrated / accepted, she could come visit me for cupcakes with yellow icing. I also taught Button Princess some skills in creating her own otherworld 'safe place' until she was integrated, so that she did have somewhere to go where she might feel wanted. So Button Princess walked off, super resilient.
I ended up falling into a kind of semi-awake doze. I blame Aka Oslo, who walked towards me with a kind of strange look in his eyes. He sat next to me and we talked a bit (or he talked, and I listened) about how I still keep falling asleep in the otherworlds. He came and carried me into the glass and wood 'beach-house,' remarked on how spartan and unlived in it is (I never go in there, even though I built it for me to go in there) and then placed me on a large bed on the top storey. My other spirit helpers - Sch'iaskala, Ehrembi, Biaimundi, Oooshala were also there.
And then what followed was quite strange. Well, you know, stranger. I've suspected for a little while that two different people have been directing some malicious mojo my way. One without realising, the other intentionally. Hence wearing bindrunes on my body right now. Aka Oslo placed his hand over my eyes once, just waved it over, and suddenly I saw these two black worm/tentacle things coming out of my heart. One around my right shoulder, the other at the bottom of my ribcage on the left-hand side. I put my hands down to pull them out and he said 'no, wait, don't touch it with any more of your body. I'll show you what to do.' He called on Oooshala, the water horse, who still had essentially a pannier of 'anger jars' all over his body.
Aka Oslo took one of the jars with 'white' anger in it. And then he opened it and poured a little bit onto the first black worm/tentacle/malicious energy thing. It recoiled immediately, I felt something 'lift' out of my shoulder. Aka Oslo added more of the energy to it and it withdrew out of the house completely. Hopefully it 'returned to sender.' Any of the white energy liquid anger stuff (the technical name, of course) that fell onto me, didn't hurt. Nifty. :)
He used two bottles of the 'red' anger for the second worm/tentacle thingie, though he said he would have preferred green (they're the ones that Baba Yaga took the last time I saw her). He used one of red, and it recoiled, but stayed near my body. Aka Oslo gave me the second jar and told me that when it looked for another place to 'join', to position the jar so that it went into the jar. I did that (it had aimed for my heart again), and when it sunk itself into the jar, it let loose a scream of frustration and pain, recoiled and disappeared.
'So I'm all clean?' And Aka Oslo barked a short bark of laughter and shook his head. He essentially said that I was clean of that, but that we had a lot more work to do, and it would take a long long time. Boy and howdy, yeah, colour me surprised.
Ten minutes later I was drowsy. Aka Oslo said 'you have a visitor.' I was surprised when a great big, sand coloured tiger jumped onto the bed and put his head on my foot and just gazed at me peacefully and sleepily. And then I fell asleep, in the Otherworlds, as usual... *sigh*
When I woke up Moet was on the bed, with his head on my foot. Interesting.
It makes me - at times like this - profoundly grateful that I have an 'entourage' of spirit helpers who all have different purposes and functions. Sch'iaskala was the one who opened the door for Aka Oslo. Ehrembi stayed nearby, grounded, calm and chuckling gently to all of us. Biaimundi was a fierce, protective presence who wouldn't allow anything else into the house. Aka Oslo knows the 'handywork', and Oooshala carries the energy needed to add some oomph to rituals and such.
About a month ago, I realised I had someone else's soul part attached to me. Clinging to me kind of like an adorable little limpet. When I disengaged her, gently, she expressed misgivings about going back to where she belonged, and kept telilng me that she wanted to stay with me.
The last month, on and off, I've been having dialogues with this kid, who calls herself Button Princess (which comes from being 'cute as a button,' which is really cute). In a way, she still wants to cling, and so most of our visits are me trying to teach her the spiritual skills necessary to stick around someone who doesn't really want you or know what to do with you, until they're ready to want you / know what to do with you. It's all about resilience. And there's been a lot of sharing. About how I know I have my own 'Button Princess' out there somewhere who I'm also kind of scared of, etc.
Anyway, today was yet another journey. We sat at my 'beach-house' or starting place by the sea, with the forest behind us, and we talked about how yellow icing on cupcakes was better than pink icing (I offered her pink, she wanted yellow). About how she spent a lot of her time in the otherworlds, away from her main 'person', walking along the beach and looking for seashells with holes in them to make into necklaces.
I talked about the power of telling stories, and made up a story about the Button Princess that had a happy ending. So Button Princess asked me to make up a story for myself and I was like 'well, what name should I have?' And she wanted to call me mother Raven, uh oh, no, I can't have her clinging to me again. So I said 'how about Aunty Raven?' She liked that, so I'm now Aunty Raven. I might keep that for future soul parts that come to visit me, lol.
I told a story about Aunty Raven, and as I was telling the story to Button Princess (who was closing her eyes and falling asleep), Oooshala came walking out of the sea towards us, and Aka Oslo came flying into my starting place as an eagle (who changed into Aka Oslo soon afterwards) and they both listened to me tell my story. It didn't have a proper ending. It ended with Aunty Raven sitting next to Button Princess, listening to the sound of the sea waves and the breezes in the leaves of the forest behind her, content. And for the first time in a while, I felt kind of content. So I just stayed there.
Eventually I told Button Princess that she needed to go 'back' and keep trying, but until she was fully integrated / accepted, she could come visit me for cupcakes with yellow icing. I also taught Button Princess some skills in creating her own otherworld 'safe place' until she was integrated, so that she did have somewhere to go where she might feel wanted. So Button Princess walked off, super resilient.
I ended up falling into a kind of semi-awake doze. I blame Aka Oslo, who walked towards me with a kind of strange look in his eyes. He sat next to me and we talked a bit (or he talked, and I listened) about how I still keep falling asleep in the otherworlds. He came and carried me into the glass and wood 'beach-house,' remarked on how spartan and unlived in it is (I never go in there, even though I built it for me to go in there) and then placed me on a large bed on the top storey. My other spirit helpers - Sch'iaskala, Ehrembi, Biaimundi, Oooshala were also there.
And then what followed was quite strange. Well, you know, stranger. I've suspected for a little while that two different people have been directing some malicious mojo my way. One without realising, the other intentionally. Hence wearing bindrunes on my body right now. Aka Oslo placed his hand over my eyes once, just waved it over, and suddenly I saw these two black worm/tentacle things coming out of my heart. One around my right shoulder, the other at the bottom of my ribcage on the left-hand side. I put my hands down to pull them out and he said 'no, wait, don't touch it with any more of your body. I'll show you what to do.' He called on Oooshala, the water horse, who still had essentially a pannier of 'anger jars' all over his body.
Aka Oslo took one of the jars with 'white' anger in it. And then he opened it and poured a little bit onto the first black worm/tentacle/malicious energy thing. It recoiled immediately, I felt something 'lift' out of my shoulder. Aka Oslo added more of the energy to it and it withdrew out of the house completely. Hopefully it 'returned to sender.' Any of the white energy liquid anger stuff (the technical name, of course) that fell onto me, didn't hurt. Nifty. :)
He used two bottles of the 'red' anger for the second worm/tentacle thingie, though he said he would have preferred green (they're the ones that Baba Yaga took the last time I saw her). He used one of red, and it recoiled, but stayed near my body. Aka Oslo gave me the second jar and told me that when it looked for another place to 'join', to position the jar so that it went into the jar. I did that (it had aimed for my heart again), and when it sunk itself into the jar, it let loose a scream of frustration and pain, recoiled and disappeared.
'So I'm all clean?' And Aka Oslo barked a short bark of laughter and shook his head. He essentially said that I was clean of that, but that we had a lot more work to do, and it would take a long long time. Boy and howdy, yeah, colour me surprised.
Ten minutes later I was drowsy. Aka Oslo said 'you have a visitor.' I was surprised when a great big, sand coloured tiger jumped onto the bed and put his head on my foot and just gazed at me peacefully and sleepily. And then I fell asleep, in the Otherworlds, as usual... *sigh*
When I woke up Moet was on the bed, with his head on my foot. Interesting.
It makes me - at times like this - profoundly grateful that I have an 'entourage' of spirit helpers who all have different purposes and functions. Sch'iaskala was the one who opened the door for Aka Oslo. Ehrembi stayed nearby, grounded, calm and chuckling gently to all of us. Biaimundi was a fierce, protective presence who wouldn't allow anything else into the house. Aka Oslo knows the 'handywork', and Oooshala carries the energy needed to add some oomph to rituals and such.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 11:53 pm (UTC)I have faith that you can come back to this. :)