[Public] Tomorrow I'm having cat sandwiches for lunch.

[moonvoice]

Scenario:

Painter walks up to the door. I immediately dissociate into 'socialising with strangers' mode and put my plate of sandwiches down (well, a single sandwich, I'd already had one). I go and say hi to the painter and go 'yay you're painting the front of our house' (essentially) and so on.

Then I hear this sound:

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

I turn and then I turn back to the painter and say in the sweetest, most formal voice;

'please excuse me for a second, my cat is eating my sandwich.'

Followed by uproarious painterly laughter and me saying 'Maybe you BITCH!' She ate the filling out and a piece of bread in - I shit you not - less than 60 seconds. A dog would've finished it quicker, but you know, still, respect!

I put the cats away, made the guy a coffee, threw away the rest of my sandwich and briefly wondered if Maybe found the roast beef filling as flavourless as I did. Probably not.

Later she had the audacity to meow at me for more sandwich when I let her out.

Seriously, she's an opportunistic, hilarious bitch.

(Tune in next time for more hilarious stories of 'the shit your pets get up to when you dissociate.')

Comments

[ravenswept]

Cat 1. Sandwich 0. Sanity: o.O

[starstrider]

Too funny! That has happened all too many times here, too. Though, usually my cereal bowl is more of a target for Mister. He'll sit on my desk and STARE, meanwhile his face is getting closer and closer and closer...

[silverjackal]

:D

Maybe is a fierce hunter.

[moonvoice]

She wasn't even in the room when I opened the door! Heh.

[silverjackal]

She was lying in ambush, stalking the elusive sandwich!

[ariestess]

*snickers* Let me know how you prepare the cat sandwiches, so I have the recipe in the future.

[tsukikokoro]

> Later she had the audacity to meow at me for more sandwich when I let her out.
Cats are brilliant for that. ;D It always gets a laugh out of me.

[gone_fishing]

LMAO!!!!!!!!

Wealtheow would do the same thing if she could get near a roast beef sandwich. She goes into epic spazz mode when she smells beef of any kind (especially steak), I think it provokes some ancestral memory of the herd taking down a buffalo, or something.

The best part of this (well, not "best", it sucks she ate your sandwich) is that Maybe meowed for more. SUCH a cat.

[sidheblessed]

Muahaha!

[white_rabbit]

Oh gods, I will never get tired of Maybe-stories. And better sandwiches, I suppose, than tea-cake scented tea towels, right? LOL.

[goddess_incarnate]

lmao. I loooove your cat stories.

Maybe is so hilarious.

[redsixwing]

LOL! Bummer that she ate your sandwich, but asking for more is just so perfectly cat.

[drgnhlr]

such a cat thing! LOL

[toeknuckles]

Heehee! Oh Maybe, you sammidge burglar.

[bodlon]

I am laughing at your cats. Well, just Maybe.