[Recipe] What now? A recipe? For muffins? Seriously?

[moonvoice]

Pia’s ‘I’m still working on the perfect recipe so don’t blame me if you hate them’ Orange-Vanilla Choc-Chip Muffins.

Warning kids, I'm NOT a professional, so you CAN try this at home! ;)

You will need:

- A muffiny-type tray for muffin things. (This recipe will make 9 muffins, or like...twelve regular cupcakes, ish). Greased or like...muffin paper-y things. I’m a very official cook.
- An oven preheated to 180C (355 F)
- Stirring type things. Bowl type things. A clear bench space (I frequently forget how important this is).

You will also need:

- 220gms Self-Raising Flour
- 1/4 – 1/3 cup castor sugar (you can use raw sugar, and the original recipe said ½ cup, but that’s too much for me).
- ¼ cup vegetable oil
- ¾ cup milk
- 1 lightly beaten egg
- 1 tspn vanilla essence
- 1 tspn orange essence (you can also use grated orange zest and stuff, but I had none).

- 150 - 200 gms filling of your choice, I of course choose the superior dark chocolate chips by any brand that looks really decadent and fattening. Hey, it’s muffins. But seriously, people add cinnamon and apple; white chocolate chips and raspberry. I’m just a whore for dark chocolate chips in vanilla muffins – it’s totally your choice what you put in there. The recipe is flexible.

What you do.

00. Preheat that damned oven already.

0. Take chocolate chips and a teaspoonful of flour and put them in a bowl, mix until chocolate chips are very well coated in flour. If you do not do this, all the chocolate chips will sink to the bottom of your cupcake and; while still tasty, will be a source of shame and embarrassment to you and your friends.

1. Sift flour (into a bowl, not directly onto the bench). Add sugar. Lightly mix. If you’re like me, you’ll think ‘wow, that’s a LOT of sugar,’ even though it isn’t really compared to other things. Make a well in the middle.

2. Mix wet ingredients (in another bowl).

3. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients, mix until just combined. I use a fork and work very lazily. Because I always interpret ‘just combined’ to ‘the laziest most half-assed stirring you can imagine,’ which seems to translate to, ‘muffins!’ Go figure.

4. Add ¾ chocolate chips (or ‘most of them’) mix very lightly (the dry coating of flour around the chocolate chips is what makes them not sink to the bottom of the muffin, so if you mix too well, they’ll sink, might be a reason why muffins have such uneven distribution of fillings yeah?), and then spoon the mixture into your muffin-y type tray.

5. Add rest of chocolate chips to the top of your muffins.

6. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until lightly golden; whichever comes first. I recommend passing the time by playing Bejewelled Blitz, telling the cats to ‘get off the kitchen bench,’ washing dishes, repeatedly checking the oven in a futile way, making this sound when you realise they’re rising – ‘EEEEE!’, and doing things like... imagining how awesome you’re gonna be when you make them again. And again.

7. Eat them!

Comments

[spider_fox]

Orange Vanilla choco-chip...you're getting a little adventurous there aren't cha XD

I'm still putting icing on top, cuz icing is YUMMEH :P

[moonvoice]

Icing doesn't go on muffins! Only cupcakes.

[spider_fox]

In a world of my own, everything is what it isn't :P

[enigmaticmagpie]

Our kitchen habits sound terribly similar. Especially the 'EEEEE!' sound. That is crucial to adequate cooking.

Also, you should write a cookbook.

[donnalotus]

Agreed!

[moonvoice]

Seriously, I am like... I very much enjoy cooking *sometimes*, but when I do, I am perpetually excited that something I make turned out okay.

[burningbright]

Haha, an entire cookbook written in the above style would be awesome and worth buying even if you don't plan on cooking. >D

[white_rabbit]

Hehehe, your recipes never cease to make me giggle at parts: "While still tasty, will be a source of shame and embarrassment to you and your friends".

(Reposted because I accidentally replied to someone else instead of the entry, whoopsie)

[moonvoice]

"While still tasty, will be a source of shame and embarrassment to you and your friends".

I felt the embarrassment intensely with my first batch. Oh yes, I did.

[donnalotus]

Take chocolate chips and a teaspoonful of flour and put them in a bowl, mix until chocolate chips are very well coated in flour.

Oooooh so THAT is the trick to them not sinking!!! Yay!!! How excitement. I'm going to try these when I get back from QLD :D

[moonvoice]

Oooooh so THAT is the trick to them not sinking!!! Yay!!!

Yes! Also:

Making sure all your ingredients are as cold as possible, to the point of putting mixing bowls and stuff in the frigde before using them.

Basically it's chemistry, the more the mixture can 'hold' the filling static for longer, the less time they have to sink, the more time they have for the baked cupcake to hold things in place. This muffin mixture is quite liquidy (because it makes soft, moist muffins, not dry, bread-ish ones); so you need the extra trick of mixing the filling in flour and using cold ingredients.

In other heavier things, like biscuits, it doesn't matter, because the heaviness of the dough holds the chips in place. Usually. :)

[lupagreenwolf]

Hmmmph. Tease. Why aren't you sending these through the internet?

[moonvoice]

I wish I could!

(If you ever come to Western Australia though; I shall make some!)

[shimmerhawk]

That sounds soooooo good. Wish I knew how to cook!

[sidheblessed]

I absolutely love the "bowl type things" etc. and that you include "Eat them!" as a direction.

Since I am the baker of the family, I might give these a whirl.

[moonvoice]

The basic recipe (sans the orange oil) can be used for anything. So if you like apple and blueberry, or whatever, you can just substitute that in, instead of chocolate chips.

Though - *blush* - I just think epic chocolate chips are a superior filling product.

[cherrydaiquiri]

Yay! Thank you for posting this. :)
Also: the way you write recipes is hilarious.