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moonvoiceWhen I first started out, as a pagan, I was in highschool and I was one of those kids who did tarot readings for her friends, made her own Book of Shadows, was very interested in all kinds of energy work and healing (including Reiki) and basically starting to become obsessed with animal symbolism and so on. By the time I was 17, I was in an Alexandrian Wiccan coven. I thought I was dedicated. I meditated every day, I ran a meditation group for friends, I did rituals and spells, I had my own huge altar, I burnt a circle of salt into the grass in the back garden (sorry Mum!) and so on...
So, on the outside, I was a dedicated young spiritual pagan. But there was a problem. A big problem. There was a huge divide between my spiritual work, and my real life. The person I was spiritually was more ethical than the person I was on a day to day basis. A lot of what I learnt in meditation, I didn't apply to my 'real life.' The animals I worked with taught and said interesting things, but I didn't really know how to bridge the gap. How did I take the problem solving skills of raven and apply them anywhere? I didn't. There was a big divide between what I did, who I was, the lives I was leading.
It wasn't until much later, when I split away from Wicca, and embraced shamanism and animism, that I started to see very clear ways that my spirituality could assist my 'real life.' And around that time I started realising that there's no point to a spirituality that doesn't assist your real life. And absolutely no point in any spirituality that lowers your quality of life. If you're in any spirituality or belief system, no matter WHAT it is, that lowers your quality of life; get out!!!
These days, I don't meditate every day. I don't have a great big altar (I have a few shrines). I have no circles of salt burnt into the grass behind our house (we have no grass, so...), and I don't run a meditation group. But it doesn't matter, because I live my spirituality. In my work as a spiritual artist. In my mental health and therapy where I now see a therapist who will actually bring up the totems I'm working with as a way to communicate assistance.
An excellent example of this unification was recently I experienced a great deal of anger over a serious betrayal. I am very dysfunctional when it comes to anger, I'll be the first to admit it. I rarely feel it, let along anger that is so strong that I shake from it, and feel my heart pounding and my face heat up... I had no idea what to do. So I reached out to my perevrjni, my spirit helpers, and I said 'what do I do? Help me.'
One of my spirit helpers, a grumpy old man who is partial to wolverines, came forward around me and brought another one of my spirit helpers, a water-horse (a horse that lives in the sea, with a mane and tail of fire) with him. He took a jar and said 'pour your anger into this jar.' I did, and it filled up quickly. He grabbed another jar, and said 'pour your anger into this jar.' And so we went, on and on, pouring out white, and then red, and then blue and purple and green shades of anger, until my water-horse was covered in clinking jars of anger that shone with energy. I was grounded and more calm, and I had a stockpile of energy to use for later.
In 'real life' it gave me the ability to respond to the person who had betrayed me from a rational and honest place. I stood up for myself, made healthy decisions for myself, and essentially got out of a very toxic situation with most of my soul intact and a gratefulness in my spirit helpers, and a proudness in myself for being able to manage serious anger in such a way for the first time in my life.
Those anger jars came in handy. I use them in energy work, to protect myself against being attacked by two spirits, and as offerings to other spirits (including a local crocodile god, who now has all my anger jars, and I have to wait again until I'm very angry to make some new ones). It wasn't a psychological technique I was using, taught to me by a therapist; but a spiritual one with psychological and real life implications. It was taught to me by a spirit helper named Aka Oslo, who lives on a house, on a rock that reaches out of a rough sea, that smells of salt and fur...who may or may not be a figment of my imagination. It doesn't matter if he is; because any figment of your imagination that teaches you spiritual and therapeutic tools that keep you safe and true to yourself, is a wonderful, helpful figment. Of course, I think he is real. :)
Not only that, but a couple of other people who heard this story are using anger jars themselves now. This is a technique that can be very helpful. It reached into other 'real lives,' because of its practical implications. It allows you to keep your anger, which means you're not 'getting rid of it' (don't get rid of your emotions, they're valuable!); but it also allows you to take a step back and see exactly what you have, what the energy looks like, and how beautiful it is. Anger might be overwhelming, but when it's shining out of many many jars, it's beautiful too. And colourful! And mostly, practical and helpful as well.
So how does your spirituality translate to your every day functioning? Do you have problems making connections between your spiritual practices and your 'mundane' life? When you work with animal totems, where are the real life results of that? When you walk or commune with the land, what do you take back to your workplace or your other environments. When you are in crisis, how does your spirituality assist you?
So, on the outside, I was a dedicated young spiritual pagan. But there was a problem. A big problem. There was a huge divide between my spiritual work, and my real life. The person I was spiritually was more ethical than the person I was on a day to day basis. A lot of what I learnt in meditation, I didn't apply to my 'real life.' The animals I worked with taught and said interesting things, but I didn't really know how to bridge the gap. How did I take the problem solving skills of raven and apply them anywhere? I didn't. There was a big divide between what I did, who I was, the lives I was leading.
It wasn't until much later, when I split away from Wicca, and embraced shamanism and animism, that I started to see very clear ways that my spirituality could assist my 'real life.' And around that time I started realising that there's no point to a spirituality that doesn't assist your real life. And absolutely no point in any spirituality that lowers your quality of life. If you're in any spirituality or belief system, no matter WHAT it is, that lowers your quality of life; get out!!!
These days, I don't meditate every day. I don't have a great big altar (I have a few shrines). I have no circles of salt burnt into the grass behind our house (we have no grass, so...), and I don't run a meditation group. But it doesn't matter, because I live my spirituality. In my work as a spiritual artist. In my mental health and therapy where I now see a therapist who will actually bring up the totems I'm working with as a way to communicate assistance.
An excellent example of this unification was recently I experienced a great deal of anger over a serious betrayal. I am very dysfunctional when it comes to anger, I'll be the first to admit it. I rarely feel it, let along anger that is so strong that I shake from it, and feel my heart pounding and my face heat up... I had no idea what to do. So I reached out to my perevrjni, my spirit helpers, and I said 'what do I do? Help me.'
One of my spirit helpers, a grumpy old man who is partial to wolverines, came forward around me and brought another one of my spirit helpers, a water-horse (a horse that lives in the sea, with a mane and tail of fire) with him. He took a jar and said 'pour your anger into this jar.' I did, and it filled up quickly. He grabbed another jar, and said 'pour your anger into this jar.' And so we went, on and on, pouring out white, and then red, and then blue and purple and green shades of anger, until my water-horse was covered in clinking jars of anger that shone with energy. I was grounded and more calm, and I had a stockpile of energy to use for later.
In 'real life' it gave me the ability to respond to the person who had betrayed me from a rational and honest place. I stood up for myself, made healthy decisions for myself, and essentially got out of a very toxic situation with most of my soul intact and a gratefulness in my spirit helpers, and a proudness in myself for being able to manage serious anger in such a way for the first time in my life.
Those anger jars came in handy. I use them in energy work, to protect myself against being attacked by two spirits, and as offerings to other spirits (including a local crocodile god, who now has all my anger jars, and I have to wait again until I'm very angry to make some new ones). It wasn't a psychological technique I was using, taught to me by a therapist; but a spiritual one with psychological and real life implications. It was taught to me by a spirit helper named Aka Oslo, who lives on a house, on a rock that reaches out of a rough sea, that smells of salt and fur...who may or may not be a figment of my imagination. It doesn't matter if he is; because any figment of your imagination that teaches you spiritual and therapeutic tools that keep you safe and true to yourself, is a wonderful, helpful figment. Of course, I think he is real. :)
Not only that, but a couple of other people who heard this story are using anger jars themselves now. This is a technique that can be very helpful. It reached into other 'real lives,' because of its practical implications. It allows you to keep your anger, which means you're not 'getting rid of it' (don't get rid of your emotions, they're valuable!); but it also allows you to take a step back and see exactly what you have, what the energy looks like, and how beautiful it is. Anger might be overwhelming, but when it's shining out of many many jars, it's beautiful too. And colourful! And mostly, practical and helpful as well.
So how does your spirituality translate to your every day functioning? Do you have problems making connections between your spiritual practices and your 'mundane' life? When you work with animal totems, where are the real life results of that? When you walk or commune with the land, what do you take back to your workplace or your other environments. When you are in crisis, how does your spirituality assist you?
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 06:23 am (UTC)Yes, yes, and yes. This is something that I've said many times before but I like how you say it. I usually phrase it as "Does it impair functioning, aid functioning, or neither? If it aids, great! If neither, well, whichever. If impairing, get out." I like your phrasing of "lowers quality of life"; I think it's more clear than "aids/impairs functioning".
Also... *poke* If you're around, you should totally get on IM. ;>
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:08 am (UTC)I mean, as a shamanist, some parts of my practice are marked by ill-health. But that ill-health was around before shamanism (most of it) and shamanism can increase symptoms because sometimes you have to 'get worse to get better,' as with many serious psychological ailments.
But my overall quality of life is slowly, but surely, improving.
That is huge. That is what a spirituality should be about.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 06:35 am (UTC)I had a hard time realising how spiritual my real-life work was. And I struggled with connecting my physical acts to any spiritual work. Mostly due to disbelief in "woo woo" on my part. But I am starting to accept and embrace my spiritual part, and it grows stronger now that I am willing to connecting it to my day-to-day words and actions.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:10 am (UTC)I think that makes a lot of sense, especially since so much of your real life work really does have an intensely spiritual component; helping the bereaved, assisting animals and the landscape directly. Not many people I think are in these sorts of positions.
I think as well, it's possible to be completely skeptical and think it's all delusion or imagination, and still reap the benefits of an active life of 'visualisation' (if that's what a person wants to see it as). Consciousness is only a small part of our every day awareness, so why not exploit the rest of our brains too?
no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 10:40 am (UTC)I've been an advocate of immediate spirituality since I read The Spell of the Sensuous (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0679776397?ie=UTF8&tag=kalimayablack-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0679776397). Before then I'd had a sort of intuitive sense for ages that any spirituality that doesn't permeate life is off the mark, but never quite enough to articulate an argument. Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0688082742?ie=UTF8&tag=kalimayablack-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0688082742) also has some great thoughts about immediacy, though only tangentially in a spiritual context.
I find that when I'm having a bad patch, I get really disconnected from my spirituality. First it gets sort of isolated from the rest of my behaviour, then it gets shipped to the list of stuff I'll do later. Obviously that only makes things worse, because I am shipping one of my most powerful healing tools to the do-it-later list.
Sadly I think Wicca does lend itself easily to immediacy, and yet so rarely do Wiccans actually bridge that separation between religion and life.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:12 am (UTC)I completely agree, and know some Wiccans who live like this. For me, it was the wrong path. I was in Western Australia, Alexandrian Wicca was pretty common, and so being desperate to practice paganism and be around people of like mind, I jumped in.
First it gets sort of isolated from the rest of my behaviour, then it gets shipped to the list of stuff I'll do later. Obviously that only makes things worse, because I am shipping one of my most powerful healing tools to the do-it-later list.
If it's too draining to do it in the short-term when things are very hard, it might be worth looking at the spiritual worth of rest and sleep instead. It is possible to be very spiritual in terms of attitudes towards *not* doing anything 'active', and instead giving yourself time to rest, sleep, stare at walls, and so on. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 12:17 pm (UTC)So, so true. And yet I haven't completely embraced and integrated my lives yet. The biggest way my lives connect is through trying to consciously work and see energy in[to] anything I do. In crisis I tend to completely shut down everything, but occasionally I've drawn on the weather or something else to push out the energy in a more positive way.
I've planned that from today I'm going to push my spirituality forward because I've been stagnant for so long. I'm going back to the basics I never went through and following A Witch Alone's tasks.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:13 am (UTC)It's not easy... well it's not easy for a lot of people, and it wasn't easy for me. I think we live in divisive and compartmentalised worlds, where 'science' and 'spirituality' and 'biological health' are kept in separate boxes.
And this helps some people. But I don't think it's an attitude that helps everyone.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 01:00 pm (UTC)If anything, my spirituality is my life and puts a lot of things into perspective. Though it also leads to a lot of frustration because I am often around people who are the exact opposite. That's something I have yet to reconcile.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:14 am (UTC)In some cases, me too. I can relate to this. I also find it hard, at times, to understand how people can live without spirituality in their lives. But that's the projection that occurs from seeing something help me so much, and assuming it will help others in the same way.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:20 am (UTC)And it is a difficult balance, with much 'swinging of the pendulum.' In all honesty, I think that's very normal. Sometimes upsetting the equilibrium is all it takes to feel very blessed when you find it again. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 03:24 pm (UTC)This is just too true.
It took me a long time to find a place where I didn't feel that my spirituality was detracting from my life. I grew up in a space where life and spirituality where separate things and you had to talk about how you were applying the teachings of Jesus to your life. But they were still, in a way, considered separate things.
Now, it's not that I don't have a "spiritual life," but that I've integrated it into my everyday life. They're the same thing. When I'm gardening, I can communicate with the land spirits, for example, and I can pray through motion, through my knitting and my cooking. With a spirituality I can embrace like this, I feel better for it.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:23 am (UTC)This is how I feel too. :)
Ah, the Quandary
Date: 2009-06-07 05:27 pm (UTC)I think it is wonderful that you do have the opportunity to fully engage your spiritual life, and I am quite jealous of people like you, but it's ok, I just live vicariously.
Re: Ah, the Quandary
Date: 2009-06-08 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 07:19 pm (UTC)The interesting thing about shamanism/some aspects of pagan and or New Age faiths is that they have such a consistent psychological component, they can be so useful in helping people deal with emotional and psychological 'stuff' while being seamlessly spiritual. It's like tapping into an inner psychologist. *grin* I find that fascinating.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-07 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 01:25 am (UTC)Aka Oslo likes being thanked, heh. :)
Shamanism, in some Indigenous cultures, was essentially a very helpful psychological tool that cared for the mental and spiritual wellbeing of the individual self, and the self in the community, and the community, and so on. In other Indigenous cultures, it could be quite toxic (it's hard to romanticise shamanism when you start really exploring it; it's not all helpful) - but that's a lot like psychology these days. Some techniques are contraindicated and just not helpful, and never really were that helpful.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-08 06:51 am (UTC)