[Wildspeak] Nature abhors a vacuum

[moonvoice]

Due to an exchange on another journal, I got thinking about possession, and decided to throw together some of my thoughts on it. One day, it may even become an article, but as it's early in the morning and I'm tired, this is what you get.

Also in my typical lackadaisical 'early morning fuck I'm tired' style.


I'm not talking about possession in The Exorcist kind of 'crab-walking on the ceiling' sort of way. I'm not talking about possession as 'completely losing your mind, time and starting to say 'I'M SATAN'' over and over again either. But the sort of spiritual possession where you pick up hitchhikers; other spirits, people, living people, dead people, etc. over your lifetime. You can still function, but probably not as healthily as you'd like. Most people, yup - most - have had at least some soul part of them which isn't actually their own, at some stage. And this is because most people, at some point, have experienced some form of soul fragmentation.

Nature abhors a vacuum, and the soul is something that seeks to be complete and whole. It is an innovative, creative part of who we are, and it will use anything to spackle / polyfill any gaps or spaces within us. It will try and grab back the part that split off (which is why, over time, many fragmentations will self-heal), or it will be open to invasion from other energies, entities and people.

I don't really like using machine metaphors to explain something organic, but it's the only one I can think of right now. Imagine, if your soul was an engine (with artificial intelligence, lol) and lost some of its parts. The soul is innately aware that it needs those parts to create energy, wholeness, health, growth, etc. And like any good, creative mechanic, it will try anything, because that's what problem-solving is all about.

However, a broken engine is also fragile, and not always able to protect itself. Any entities or energies, or spirits or dead folk, can come in and masquerade as those parts creating an engine that poorly functions - often resulting in illness, a feeling of inner discordance, or a poorly sustained ability to not only manufacture energy, but to use it in a healthier manner. In worst case scenarious, flat out malicious energies can zoom into the spaces left behind by fragmentation, attach, and then systematically start destroying the rest of the engine.

Different energies are attracted to filling 'spaces' left in the soul, and here's a quick, and by no means exhaustive, list:

People you know: Yeah, it's true. If you've ever had a really needy or clingy relationship with someone, and find it hard to 'let go' of them (crushes are an excellent example here), chances are you've left part of yourself inside or around them. And in that space, chances are high that you've taken some of their energy (with or without their permission, it's usually a very unconscious and desperate exchange) into yourself.

Folks with really dysfunctional relationships with their parents, old highschool friends, abusive relationships, really co-dependent relationships etc. often find themselves in this position (in fact, co-dependence in shamanism is explained by each having way too much of the other person's soul within themselves - hence, they need each other, because the souls are convinced they do). The soul is, very simply, attracted to itself. If part of it is in another person, it will be hugely attracted to that other person, even if you know that it's not healthy / try to convince yourself that you hate said person etc. This is the most common form of possession, and ironically - can be one of the hardest to heal. I can flat out tell you right now that I am in this position myself, and I am not yet in a position of enough power to resolve it. It will simply take time.

People you don't know, who are dead: Ghosts, or spirits of the dead, who have not yet passed on and found their purpose in death (a big difference between a ghost and an ancestor after all), often seek to re-experience life and are attracted to occupying people who aren't whole or sound within their own soul. It's usually not a malicious act, but one based in need, loss, fear, and wanting to establish a connection with someone.

If they aren't malicious or destructive at heart, ghosts will innately know that what they're doing isn't really working for them, and can be easier to extract than the pieces of other people, or other spirits/energies. They are often welcome to suggestions as to what to do next, and if shown the way (by the self, a shamanist, or anyone who has good instincts in this area) they will take it.

If the spirit of the dead is malicious or destructive, the process can be fraught with more difficulty and resistance. You can't reason with everything, and in those cases, sheer oomph and sometimes a lot of help is what is needed to get the part out, and away.

Spirits: All kinds of spirits (I'm talking in the wight / demon kind of sense here, not in the vodka sense) seek to occupy folk for varying reasons. Because it's fun. Because they are mischeivous (kitsune come to mind here). Because they have nothing better to do. Because they are spirits and their motives don't need to make sense to us. Because they are actually malicious and simply enjoy destroying the spirits of others (ouch, true). Because for some reason we pissed them off and they decided to get even. Because they think they need to occupy us for some reason. Because they want to.

I have thought, in the past, that some cases of otherkin are actually forms of spirit/wight possession which have become more symbiotic and constructive; than parasitic and destructive. In Indigenous forms of shamanism, certainly some cases of otherkin would be treated as an illness, or at the very least an anomaly, instead of 'the way things should be.' It would also go some way to explaining why some forms of 'kin are more prevalent than others; because some wights are far more excited about the prospect of long-term possession than others (kitsune, fae, elves, pixies immediately come to mind).

Anyway, healing spirit possession is a wildcard in terms of how it will go. It depends on the wight and its strength, it depends on how malicious the wight is, it depends on how attached the soul is to that spirit, and it depends on how strong the shaman is, and how strong their alliances are that could possibly help.

The most difficult extraction I've ever witnessed was a kitsune-possession (and it wasn't nearly as cute or sweet as all those DeviantArt illustrations make them out to be). But in this case, the person was literally possessed in that 'I have no sense of my own identity and I will growl at you viciously and then alternatively try and seduce you' sort of way. It wasn't a case of a person going 'hi, I'm John, I'm mostly sound of body and mind, except I think I have something inside me and I want it gone.' I should perhaps mention that if your client is really sentient and self-aware, the extraction is going to go much easier than if your client is pretty much being puppetted by the wight or spirit.

~

Because the soul (and nature, apparently) abhors a vacuum, it will automatically start seeking or 'calling' for replacement pieces once an extraction has been performed. Some shamanists will actually do a retrieval at the same time, but others will use energy or the person's own spirit guides or gods, to protect that space so that the soul can continue on its journey to find the rest of itself and locate inner wholeness. Other shamanists will pack the spaces with energy 'glue' or filler, or actually ask a spirit guide or helper if they are willing to live in that space until what is meant to be there returns.

As the soul naturally looks to replace any spaces with soul parts, or energy, any spaces within the self after an extraction are exceptionally vulnerable to simply being replaced by something else. This is why conscious self-extractions are often failures. Just like soul retrieval shouldn't be performed alone, soul extraction or possession resolution, or whatever you want to call it... probably is best with someone else to help, and add their energy to the procedure.

The good news is that in most cases, extraction is not actually an impossible or really difficult situation that puts your life in jeopardy and requires the making of a blockbuster film to illustrate (in other words, no, you will NOT be the next Exorcism of Emily Rose). Varying degrees of 'my soul is occupied by some stuff that isn't my soul' exists for most people, who go about their day to day lives without caring or really noticing. They may feel they aren't functioning at a rate they want, or may from time to time, be affected by it, but for the most part it doesn't affect them. The soul is highly highly adaptive, and in many cases, even if a form of possession is going on, the soul will be making it work however it can.

Comments

[storm-seeker.livejournal.com]

It was very interesting reading your thoughts/experiences on this. ^^

I have a number of possession/occupation experiences from recent years when I became a lot more magically active (and some from before that,) and you're right, there are varying degrees from my experience that go from the "hitchhiker in need of some energy and you look like a good source of it," to puppeting and beyond.

I wandered around with such a hitchhiker for about three and a half months, and though I 'knew' from personality changes and new psychic abilities that popped up, (and other things,) that something was different, I didn't peg it as a parasite using me as a host til other people more experienced than I happened to be looking, magically, at me for something else...and discovered it.

This got me thinking though as back then when it used to happen a lot to me, I would definitely not have considered myself a "whole" person and was definitely suffering codependency, extreme fear of abandonment and being left, was very needy of people and manipulative to ensure they stayed close. What you said about seeking out something to fill the gap from absent soul parts, or simply just seeking to fill a hole we feel is there out of not feeling complete or happy with ourselves, is giving me good for thought. And I know from one particular experience, I was always happier if I was connected with someone in an energetic way or sharing my soul/self with them in that way.

Please to make article out of this one day. :) There is a definite lack of sensible material on the subject.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

It was very interesting reading your thoughts/experiences on this.

Yeah, I might start talking about some of my own experiences with possession / extraction. I am definitely not all 'myself.'

What you said about seeking out something to fill the gap from absent soul parts, or simply just seeking to fill a hole we feel is there out of not feeling complete or happy with ourselves, is giving me good for thought.

*nods* Ultimately, all we want is to be whole and healthy. I mean okay we might also want things like chocolate, a new car, etc. But ultimately, at the end of the day, wholeness and healthiness is what is desired. The soul will go to great lengths to achieve this, great great lengths. While the results aren't always pleasant, it's a great testament to the soul - even a fragile, fragmented soul's - will to survive and grow.

There is a definite lack of sensible material on the subject.

Agreed!

[myrrhmade.livejournal.com]

Interesting read!

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

[sagewhite.livejournal.com]

I think I had this with my mother for years. I described her as a psychic vampire though. I also think I have it right now with my partner, though it could also be my broken brain!

Great thoughts. Would be interested in the extended article piece, also.

[weishaupt.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of parents (if not most or all) are guilty of some degree of unconscious psychic vampirism, unfortunately.

[shimmerhawk.livejournal.com]

This was fascinating, wow. I've always wondered if therianthropy had something to do with animal spirits becoming part of the person after some sort of trauma or bad experience. I don't think that idea would fly in the community though, and I don't think it would be true for everyone.

I definitely think I've had this happen with people I know that I've had relationships with and it was pretty damaging. I don't feel like it was ever really 'fixed' or healed in one instance because I simply went on antidepressants to cover up the problem.

I'm really curious about all this stuff even though I don't know much about it. Do you have any ideas as to what might cause vampirism? (the energy kind, not the blood kind) Could it be something similar?

[weishaupt.livejournal.com]

I recommend Dion Fortune's Psychic Self Defence if you'd like to find out about psychic vampirism etc.

[weishaupt.livejournal.com]

I picked *something* up once messing around in a cemetery. It was really strange.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I haven't been to enough cemeteries (actually I think I've only been to one) to really feel them out. But it wouldn't surprise me in the least if you had an experience there.

I constantly have experiences in Fremantle, yegods I hate that suburb. Lol.

[starla80.livejournal.com]

Another interesting post. Something I'd like to chat with you about at some point to learn more.

Here's a question - is stuff like walking around cemeteries high-risk behaviour, or are ghosts and spirits attracted to you wherever you are on the physical plane?

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Cemeteries... I think it really depends, a lot of ghosts hang around the places where they died - which doesn't tend to be the cemetery.

But there are exceptions to that too, plus with SO many people going to cemeteries and bringing energies of expecting to interact with, or at least honour and acknowledge the dead, they definitely attract dead spirits and a lot of non-human spirits as well.

There are a few 'high risk' places though, hospitals are another. Historic sites where lots of people died (we thankfully have few of these in Western Australia).

But ghosts / spirits are attracted wherever. Unless you physically / spiritually seek to demarcate a safe place where nothing can get in, that connection can be made anywhere. Anytime.

Man, now I feel like some Hungry Jacks. Lol. Weird!

[die-uberfrau.livejournal.com]

I had this going on with my mother, and I think the severing of bio-Wyrd was the healthiest and sanest thing I've done in a long time, much as it came with the fallout of a rather nasty physical illness (I have to wonder how much of that was exacerbated by the Wyrd-severing).

Thank you for writing this, it confirms some things I've sensed about the workings of spiritual foo both with the aforementioned psycho-mom thing and things I've seen with others, for awhile. :D

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I had this going on with my mother, and I think the severing of bio-Wyrd was the healthiest and sanest thing I've done in a long time.

When I move, I will be seeking to do some rituals like this as well. There's usually fallout with this kind of stuff, because in the case of toxic parents, it's like lancing a boil. Lots of pus before it heals.

[liondaughter.livejournal.com]

Do I mind if I repost this in my own journal and send a copy to Lisa and Gail (fully credited, of course)? If not (for all or any of these), that's totally fine. :)

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Oh hey, not at all - I'd be honoured. :) I write this stuff, ultimately, to help others - so if it can help others (even if it just helps others to disagree more fervently), then I'm all for it.

[tsukikokoro.livejournal.com]

This has given me a bit to think on. My Starbucks dreams have started returning, now that the prospect of going will be realizable in a week. I remember having a small, but destructive breakdown in Tassy that had a lot of possible causes. It doesn't seem too implausible that part of me wanted to stay in Starbucks. Heh.


On a semi-related note:
What do you know about fae? I haven't been too interested in them myself, but I've had more than 5 people label me as a fae after just meeting me.

[flyingshaman.livejournal.com]

I would second the request to ask your knowledge on the fae. I'm pretty sure I'm one.

[dynxsilverwolf.livejournal.com]

Ooooh this is fascinating! I'm going to have to read it again tomorrow when I'm less braindead.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Hopefully the essay in no way contributes to brain-deadness!

[zuki-san.livejournal.com]

This is a really good essay. Intriguing food for thought (...I use that phrase a lot, don't I? Nom nom nom intellectual stimulation sustains me.), fits in with other ideas I've seen expressed before, like explanations of unhealthy attachment. The idea that people with missing soul bits are more vulnerable to 'riders' makes a great deal of sense, and fits the pattern of anecdotal experience, etc, etc, that I've noticed before.

Have you considered posting this or an edited version up to Wildspeak? I think it'd be a worthwhile addition to the site.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

*noms on food for thought*

I've had a bit of that myself lately.

Have you considered posting this or an edited version up to Wildspeak?

Mm, yeah I have. There's been a few things I've written about here that I've been thinking of adapting for the website. I haven't updated that site in a while. *blush*

[lunar-amaranth.livejournal.com]

"If you've ever had a really needy or clingy relationship with someone, and find it hard to 'let go' of them (crushes are an excellent example here), chances are you've left part of yourself inside or around them."

Wow...I know exactly what this feels like, but I never would have thought to classify it under the possession category. I developed a massive crush on a guy back in college...I was rebounding after a bad breakup and I knew it, but it happened anyway. This guy is one of those people that just attracts people to him in droves...he can get away with things that would get most people beat up or shot. Nothing ever came of that crush (other than frustration and heartbreak), but even now, nearly three years, a marriage, and a baby later, I still am not quite over him. It frustrates me, sometimes, because I'm very happily married and yet I still find myself occasionally thinking of this other guy. More frustrating still is the fact that to this day, I don't think the guy has any clue that I liked him that much and might still harbor such feelings now. The notion that I've left part of my soul with him somehow makes a lot of sense.

This is what I've been doing about it: The novel that I'm currently working on was initially created solely as a medium to destroy my link to this guy. I've channeled a lot of his attributes into the character of the main antagonist, whose choices in the story lead him, ultimately, to his own destruction. Not only does he have to die, but I can't even redeem him in the end or it will short circuit what I'm really trying to accomplish. In the process of pulling my heroine out of Raphel's clutches on paper, I'm really hoping to pull myself away from Raphel's real world counterpart. We will see how well I succeed, once I get the first draft finished.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Nothing ever came of that crush (other than frustration and heartbreak), but even now, nearly three years, a marriage, and a baby later, I still am not quite over him. The notion that I've left part of my soul with him somehow makes a lot of sense.

To me too. However, I think your method of dealing with it in the novel is an innovative and potentially very effective method to use. I hope it works!

[silere.livejournal.com]

This is.. very interesting. Something i've thought about in a very round about way in the past. Seems difficult to think about it head on. I had a hell of a time actually reading this post, even, which is strange for me.

I don't even want to look at my fragmented and partitioned bits at the moment. I dream about stuff i should be dealing with quite a bit, but i fear i'd be non functional in the waking world if i thought about it much. Or something.

But, i remember some times in the past where it felt like there was something else in me. Puppeting me, controlling me,whatnot. But i think i've gotten rid of most of that stuff, it was many years ago... And it sounds ridiculous to talk about... and dangerous to think about. Like it will push some door open in the back of my mind and let something through. :\

augh. sorry for nattering. :(

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I had a hell of a time actually reading this post, even, which is strange for me.

It can be a really confronting topic for those of us who recognise that - very probably - other people probably have some of our soul, or vice versa.

It's not a pleasant thought for many, and it's one of the reasons why it's so hard to disengage from these things on our own.

[welshwmn3.livejournal.com]

When I was a fundamental christian, in a really fundy sect that believed in demonic possessions and stuff, one of the things we were "taught" to do in excorcisms was to call in Jesus, or Light, or the power of God. The reasoning went that if you leave the 'vessel' (the person) empty, the demon you cast out would just come back and bring a bunch of it's nasty friends with it. (There's a bible verse that was used to justify this, one of Jesus' sayings even, but I can't remember it now, and am too lazy to go look it up now.)

Anyway, it's something that I have done anytime I've taken something out of somebody, whether it was an energy or an entity or whatever needed to be removed. I've always filled up the void with Light or Healing or something, so that when the energy/entity tried to come back, there'd be no space for it to come to.

Thank you for writing that. :)

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

The reasoning went that if you leave the 'vessel' (the person) empty, the demon you cast out would just come back and bring a bunch of it's nasty friends with it.

*nods* That really doesn't surprise me, I find the idea of Christian exorcism really interesting - not least because... it's so unusual in a religion/s that often tries to detach itself from these sorts of things.

Possession is 9/10 of the Law

[perzephone.livejournal.com]

It's kind of funny... out of all the things I do believe in, possession by evil/malicious/mischievious spirits isn't one of them. At least, not uninvited possession. Much like zombification, I believe there is a socio-psychological problem underlying someone who believes they are possessed by a spirit - even kitsunes & djinns, which I feel 'possess' older women for a reason, especially those living in repressed households & cultures.

Mediums can invite possession, as can people susceptible to the methods used in rituals to invite deity possession... but I'm just walking down the street one day & blammo, this spirit darts into my body - nope.

Of course, I knew a kid who was killed by a Catholic priest in the process of an exorcism, and I've witnessed the unique brutality of a Pentecostal exorcism, so maybe I'm a tad biased.

Re: Possession is 9/10 of the Law

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

*nods* Catholic / Pentecostal exorcisms scare the shit out of me, though it tends to only be the really brutal, stupid ones that get advertised. Vs the hundreds that go off without a hitch.

But then that would be like having your only exposure to major surgery be hearing only about all the people who died. No one would want, or believe in the benefits of surgery, if that was the case.

[sidheblessed.livejournal.com]

Possession by people you know hey? Now that has given me something to think about in regards to an ex-friend.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

*nods* Wouldn't surprise me either if it's the friend I'm thinking of - that you've talked about in Livejournal before.

[khamaseen.livejournal.com]

Because the soul (and nature, apparently) abhors a vacuum, it will automatically start seeking or 'calling' for replacement pieces once an extraction has been performed. Some shamanists will actually do a retrieval at the same time, but others will use energy or the person's own spirit guides or gods, to protect that space so that the soul can continue on its journey to find the rest of itself and locate inner wholeness...or actually ask a spirit guide or helper if they are willing to live in that space until what is meant to be there returns.

Oh, thank you for this! It was insightful, and I think what your describing here is what I experienced with my Butterfly totem (I used her presence as a shield, and it was so ingrained I was convinced she was an animal side). I just never had a word for it. Though "possession" isn't a word I think I'll use in conversation just because it has so much malice attached to it automatically.

The most difficult extraction I've ever witnessed was a kitsune-possession (and it wasn't nearly as cute or sweet as all those DeviantArt illustrations make them out to be).

Just lol :D

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

I think what your describing here is what I experienced with my Butterfly totem (I used her presence as a shield, and it was so ingrained I was convinced she was an animal side).

This sounds like an awesome thing to do, and I've invited animals into me before also for protection. Those that offer to help can be so so helpful.

Though "possession" isn't a word I think I'll use in conversation just because it has so much malice attached to it automatically.

Possession is not really appropriate, I agree. In that sense, because it was a voluntary choice on your behalf, it falls into a different category. In fact it's probably closer to shape-shifting than to something that requires soul-extraction. Especially if, down the track, it lead you to think that butterfly was a part of you (which can happen).

[darakat-ewr.livejournal.com]

This makes a lot of sense to me, I have seem some of what you are talking about. However from my experience with the fae (and a certain goddess I worship who likes to well mate with humans) I think that otherkin-ness can be hereditary, but I don't think its nearly as common as this type your theorizing about, in fact there are only one or two "otherkin" who I have thought would have this hereditary otherkiness.

[sidheblessed.livejournal.com]

Do you think mine is?

[cloversix.livejournal.com]

I know I have this. I've ignored it for a long time.

I'm suddenly struck with the thought that maybe my utter cut-off from the Otherworlds is for me to do constructive work within myself. Hmm. Something to explore...

Is it possible to fill that vacuum with good stuff? Like, say, my mate's good-will and energy? Or is that, too, unhealthy, dangerous, and generally bad? :P

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is absolutely possible to fill that vacuum with good stuff.

It provides a more nurturing environment for what was actually meant to be there to come back to, and promotes healing.

[dibeartach.livejournal.com]

Some people are of the impression that possession is uncommon?
Whoa, that's just an alien thought to me. This sort of thing happens to me routinely, to varying degrees depending on what/whom I'm sharing with. At times, only obvious to me, but at other times it's pretty hard to miss when it's physical or very obviously behavioural.
I think for the Súmaire this is particularly relevent. Do you suppose for those with vampiric tendencies it would be classed as possession?
Also, do you think there must be some kind of soul-fragmentation for this sort of thing to happen? For the Súmaire part I heard it was (among other theories, but I'm going to spare you the whole "undead" wank) due to a natural energetic loss because of a hollow heart chakra. That space naturally draws things inward, or accomodates invasion.
Interesting.

xoxox

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Some people are of the impression that possession is uncommon? Whoa, that's just an alien thought to me.

Me too, but mostly because I've seen and experienced so many successful extractions and the benefits after such an experience, that I just naturally accept it as having a place. Much like surgery, or doctor's appointments.

Do you suppose for those with vampiric tendencies it would be classed as possession?

That what would be classed as possession? The vampiric energy itself? Or something else? *is confused* Sorry!

Also, do you think there must be some kind of soul-fragmentation for this sort of thing to happen?

Erm, *thinks* yeah I think so. Possession can occur within a whole soul, buuuut, I'm pretty sure it has to be an entirely voluntary experience and it doesn't last - is naturally transitional, because the soul will naturally push out something that doesn't belong, if it outstays its welcome.

[cariadwen.livejournal.com]

Now this explains to me one positive freindship I have with an ex lover who was never faithful, but our friendship is way stronger than anyother we both have. And my inability to remove a toxic friend from my life. It also explains why, when I'm a very strong person (or at least I see myself as one) I used to get into co-dependency relationships. Someone else asked if they could copy and paste this, and you gave permission, I'd like it to go into my BOS, with your name attached.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Someone else asked if they could copy and paste this, and you gave permission, I'd like it to go into my BOS, with your name attached.

Absolutely, if you think it can help, go for it. *hugs*

[rainsingingwolf.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this, but I'm afraid I have nothing of interest to add.

[paleo.livejournal.com]

Could dreaming about someone every single night indicate possession by them?
And could a possession be passed on through a past life?

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

Could dreaming about someone every single night indicate possession by them?

Yes, if you're dreaming about them every night, then yes, this is definitely a possibility.

And could a possession be passed on through a past life?

Yeah it can. It's not that common, but it definitely happens.

[nwallopan.livejournal.com]

you forgot alien possession... which i guess by traditional shamans was just understood as random spirit possession. but i'm pretty sure more technologically advanced sentient beings can manipulate/control our thoughts, emotions and spirits, fairly easily and effectively; and beyond fortean conspiracy theories or just old fashioned experimentation, its anyone's guess as to why.

[moonvoice.livejournal.com]

While I believe in a lot of things, I am highly skeptical about alien abduction (despite being a massive X-Files fan) and believe that in many cases, alien abduction is a facticious manifestation of a previous, underlying trauma disorder.

That doesn't mean it shouldn't be treated seriously, or laughed off; but I think the mechanics behind alien abductions - or at least many of them - are (I think) not caused by aliens.

[nadjarachel.livejournal.com]

This is...incredibly intriguing. And gives another perspective/level of depth on a past relationship. Short version, I dated him for nearly 4 years, he went into the Navy after a year. After the Navy, had two rather heavy breakups (never got over him, and went back both times, I have a sneaking suspicion it was another of the "leaving bits of eachother in eachother" situations). Third breakup was the last one, and helped along by both the fact that aside from feeling that I was in danger because of breaking up with him, I was kicked out at 3:30 in the morning, and he tried to do so with me neked.

Found out approximately two months later that he and I both had been puppeted/semi-puppeted for a little over two and a half years-a little before the problems in the relationship started, for some experiment of some sort that the "puppeteers" were conducting. Eventually it got so bad on my half (dunno about him) that it ended up needing a mini-rit to get rid of the guy.

It wasn't the worst situation in the world, but it was a pain in the ass. And again-your post gives me more perspective on what was going on at the time, which means that you get another vote for "food for thought". *hehe* I'd never thought to attribute it to possession, though I suppose that should've been obvious. *heh* My head's always been a bit of a spiritual weigh-station.

*chews on the mindfuds*

(*edit* Oh yeah, almost forgot, if you were curious I was gonna prod you to my "Serena" tag (Serena was the one of the pair of "oh, look, bodies to experiment on! Whee!" that was in my ex), where most/all of that stuff is recorded. It's written in my "OMGWTF THINGS EXIST AAAAH!" sort of mindframe, because at the time I'd just "woken up", so to speak, so I imagine you'll be giggling, but you'll be able to fish out the relevant bits. *grin*)