[Public] Tomorrow I'm having cat sandwiches for lunch.

Scenario:

Painter walks up to the door. I immediately dissociate into 'socialising with strangers' mode and put my plate of sandwiches down (well, a single sandwich, I'd already had one). I go and say hi to the painter and go 'yay you're painting the front of our house' (essentially) and so on.

Then I hear this sound:

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

I turn and then I turn back to the painter and say in the sweetest, most formal voice;

'please excuse me for a second, my cat is eating my sandwich.'

Followed by uproarious painterly laughter and me saying 'Maybe you BITCH!' She ate the filling out and a piece of bread in - I shit you not - less than 60 seconds. A dog would've finished it quicker, but you know, still, respect!

I put the cats away, made the guy a coffee, threw away the rest of my sandwich and briefly wondered if Maybe found the roast beef filling as flavourless as I did. Probably not.

Later she had the audacity to meow at me for more sandwich when I let her out.

Seriously, she's an opportunistic, hilarious bitch.

(Tune in next time for more hilarious stories of 'the shit your pets get up to when you dissociate.')

Photo of the day.

Okay, maybe a little TV obsessed.