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[moonvoice]

Being nonbinary and HATING the word 'enby' is not a fun place to be.

But no, my gender has and needs its teeth, it will not be cute for you. It will not be reduced to a cutesy word over an acronym that's pronounced the same way and is far shorter to type. Do not assume that all nonbinary folk signed a contract agreeing to be reduced to a cutesy term, and if someone isn't calling themselves 'an enby' maybe just...call them nonbinary or nb.

Comments

[alias_sqbr]

In all the discussion I've seen on the non-binary discord I'm on, all the people who hated the term were afab (though I have seen some afab people who like it) and all the ones who really liked it were amab. And I can see how feeling cute would feel validating if you're amab and non-binary, though it's not something I generally enjoy myself, and enough people dislike it for it to be a terrible umbrella term.

Anyway, you're definitely not alone in hating it.

[moonvoice]

I was actually talking to another nonbinary friend about that the other day. That like, by and large, it's probably AFAB people who are more likely to hate the term than AMAB people. And there's definitely a lot of other factors playing into it. But I got called a 'fellow enby' today after coming out (again) as nonbinary on Twitter and cringed SO hard.

Like, I'd rather be misgendered as she/her than called enby. Idk why my hatred of the term is so visceral, but it's almost like 'wow if it's going to get worse I might as well not have come out at all.' It just feels like - to me personally, I don't expect anyone else should feel this way - like moving from a gender to a carebear subspecies.

[moonvoice]

Tbh it's probably something I should work on, lol. But in the meantime I am just...nonbinary....... <3

[cmcmck]

Having spent years being labelled with all manner of stupid terms for being trans, I so hear you on silly words!

Don't tranny me, please even though some people like it- that's their right if they own it, not anyone else's.

It's like the 'g' word for anyone who, like me, has Romani ancestry.

[alias_sqbr]

It's your gender identity, it's totally reasonable to have strong feelings about how other people talk about it!

[nialoke]

I had no idea "enby" comes off as "cutsey" to many/is so controversial, but that is very good to know! With that association, I can see why a lot of people don't seem to like it. (Not that you need a logical reason not to like/choose a specific term! It's your gender, and you should get to choose what your comfortable with, without having to justify your choice(s).)